Proverbs 20:24: The lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?
From September 2004 to March 2005 on my first tour in Iraq, I deployed with my unit in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom, where I was a Quick Reaction Force (QRF) Squad Leader. I was responsible for escorting EOD (Explosive Ordnance Disposal) team to defuse IEDs (Improvised Explosive Devices), insert and extract Long Range Surveillance (LRS) teams, conduct capture or kill raids, set up overwatch positions to catch/kill insurgents, set up traffic control points, and recover disabled vehicles due to ambush-style attacks. These missions were constant; the operational tempo was extremely high (4 -6 missions a day, lasting 6 -14 hours).
On one mission, my team was called to support a logistics convoy from an attack by insurgents (Anti-Iraqi Forces) in the late hours of the night (close to midnight). This logistics convoy was comprised of several foreign national contractors, some American, Jordanian, Saudi Arabian, and men from other countries. Almost 40 to 50 vehicles (tractor-trailers and pick-up trucks) in this logistics convoy traveling south down MSR (Main Supply Route-1 Tampa) from Mosul to Bagdad, Iraq (about a four-hour travel in vehicles).
While en route to the location of the attack, I could hear the frantic calls for help over the radio, which included sounds of gunfire and explosions in the background. The radio was filled with the voices and sounds of terror, panic, and distress. The Battle Captain at Forward Operating Base – (FOB) Freedom called me over the radio and asked if I could help the logistics convoy. I responded with “Roger that” over the radio, and I knew my team had to get there fast.
However, we had to watch out for IEDs and ambushes on the way there.
The insurgents would rig IEDs into dead animals, bury IEDs underneath the roadway, put explosive pressure plates in potholes in the road, and the worst was the EFP (Explosive Fabricated Projectile) threat. The EFPs were dangerous because if the bomb went off, you were guaranteed to lose your life, or if you were lucky, you would just lose your limbs (arms, legs, some part of the body). I tried to avoid any possible route with an IED. However, that would be impossible. They were everywhere! We would try to stay off the dirt roads, stick to the hardball roads, and take out (kill) anyone who presented themselves as a threat.
Once we arrived at the logistics convoy ambush site, I radioed to the Battle Captain back at the FOB that we were on site and dismounting because the wreckage of burning trucks blocked the roads. I selected a few of my team members to dismount the vehicles. While the other guys would provide over-watch with the .50 caliber machine guns. I took the lead because of the heavy fire, smoke, dust, and debris (i.e., death and destruction) in order to lead my team into a safer avenue of approach in the hope of killing the insurgents and saving lives.
I made the decision to approach in the median of the roadway, which was through heavy grass and mud. As the point man and leader, I had my M4 rifle up with the selector switch on three-round burst because I was anticipating getting shot, and I wanted to get off a good three-round burst before I went down to the ground in the hopes of not getting shot.
As we approached the burning trucks, I moved slowly and deliberately to see if anyone was alive. Or if an insurgent would be playing dead (they would wait for a QRF team to conduct a bigger attack).
The smell of dead bodies, smoke, and debris from the burning trucks filled the air. It was almost hard to breathe and difficult to see, where the moon provided limited visibility also. My night vision goggles were useless because of the smoke. I was starting to get frustrated. Then, the EOD team leader behind me said quietly, “Sergeant Doucet, don’t move;” I immediately turned my head around and saw that he was kneeling below me and was holding a thick wire. The wire had tension—I looked down, tracing the tension of the thick wire down to my left foot; basically, I was standing on the wire. I immediately knew I was also standing on an IED. Dam, I thought.
The EOD team leader traced the wire down to my left foot, stabbed the ground with a long stick (probe), pulled up the grass around my foot, and then told me to move my left foot.
I was not only standing on the wire, but I was also standing on three 155 artillery rounds. At that point, I realized that there were dirt piles in front of me were IEDs had already detonated; essentially, the first IED destroyed and killed the civilian contractors in the first couple of vehicles, and the second IED destroyed vehicles and killed more civilian contractors. All the while, I was standing on the third IED, which happened to not detonate. These IEDs were daisy changed to detonate simultaneously; however, by the grace of God, I was spared my life and my team’s lives. I could have lost my legs, also.
I didn’t get stressed or scared about the situation; I had to continue mission so we had to move out quickly, we had a long road ahead of us to clear of bad guys. So, I told my team to move onto the hard-ball road and continue pushing through the area, where we encountered numerous dead bodies and badly damaged vehicles. Again, the burning trucks, the smell of dead bodies, smoke, and debris filled the air. It was hard to breathe and difficult to see.
Still, this mission took several hours (after clearing the area of bad guys), I was ordered to pick up all of the dead bodies (i.e., dead civilian contractors).
The ambush site was littered with badly scorched bodies (burned to no recognition), mutilated body parts, missing body parts, and horrific sights, sounds, and smells. Thus far, I was responsible for cleaning up the site, which meant removing all dead bodies (approximately 16 or more civilian contractors, some bodies I could not identify) and moving the disabled vehicles off the road (my mission was to restore the Main Supply Route and get the road back in service).
After running out of body bags, I told my team to double the bodies in the bags; whereas; my team and I returned to Forwarding Operating Base with the bodies, and I told my team to prepare for the next mission while I prepared my debrief (After Action Report).
Those memories are like a bad movie.
Stepping on an IED is traumatizing, yet, making the wrong decisions and getting my soldiers killed or injured is even more horrific and traumatizing.
As I tell that story, it’s not about me and stepping on the IED. Worrying about getting shot, blown up, and losing my life, is not important; I have always put my worries into the people around me. I believe everything starts and stops with leadership.
Furthermore, I know and understand that God placed me in that position to lead, and my faith in him – allowed me and my team to prevail.
In good times I Pray and Believe that God is ordering my footsteps.
I Prayed in the good times and in times of comfort; with the purpose of, when hard times came, I could focus on the task at hand. When I would begin to worry about the hostility, the Lord would say, “hey, I got you – The relationship has been established, now, move forward.”
I’ll repeat Proverbs 20:24: The lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything long the way?
The point made here is not that God drags a man through life without any free will or choice. Rather, this proverb notes that God ultimately controls all things, and we will not always understand the circumstances we face. It is important to know where the Lord is leading and to trust Him to direct us in the right way (Proverbs 3:4–6). We can’t presume to understand such things in the exact same way as God—if we lean too hard on our own judgment, we go down the wrong path, stumble, and fall (Proverbs 8:34–36).
We cannot see the future. The Lord not only sees the future but holds it. We can ask God for wisdom (James 1:5), including perspective on why we experience things. But we are too limited to demand a “satisfactory” answer to every possible question about life. David prayed what every believer should pray: “Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths” (Psalm 25:4).
So, the Bottom line, we are all being tested in life. Though, my test is different from yours. You will be tested, and it is how you face that test, and overcome that test, that will ultimately decide the rest of your life.
Have no fear. Move forward and attack wants in front of you. Go on the offensive.
Keep your head held high.