Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears – Les Brown.
On the first day of Airborne school, the senior instructor asked the question, who is afraid of heights? With over 300 students sitting in the bleachers, several people raised their hands, including me. Next, the senior instructor asks, how do you know that you are afraid of heights? To be honest, I didn’t really know if I was afraid of heights.
I was afraid because I thought it was only natural that most people are afraid of heights. The research shows that fear of heights is one of the most common phobias following public speaking.
I was born and raised in Lake Charles, Louisiana, in which there are only a few tall structures – no mountains, basically low areas, and marshlands.
I’ve taken several plane rides throughout the United States and overseas before attending Airborne school, and I attend Air Assault School, a ten-day course that required rappelling from helicopters at or around 90 to 100 feet. However, the fear of heights never entered my mind.
Yet, the research shows that fear comes from the brain, which is a state of mind; essentially, that’s why heights do not bother some people, and some get uncomfortable in high places. Or some people get afraid just standing next to a tall structure. The brain wants to protect us from danger, and we can recognize when something could be detrimental to our health or well-being.
The senior instructor told the class to focus on the training and follow the proper procedures, and you will be okay. He said that courage is a choice and the willingness to confront danger and uncertainty.
Nelson Mandela said, “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
What is fear anyway? I joined the military to jump out of airplanes and go to war. So, the fear of flying, fear of heights, fear of dying in combat was something I was willing to embrace and overcome, and (as the senior instructor stated) you rely on the training and proper procedures.
Nevertheless, I made it through the three-week course; that is, making the required five jumps from a high-performance aircraft.
I’m not saying I was never afraid of jumping, though I was terrified on the second jump! I stated earlier that flying never bothered me; however, standing in the door of an aircraft while in flight was a new experience.
On that second jump, I was the last person in the stack (meaning I was the last person to jump). As the stack moved toward the door and jumpers were exiting the aircraft, I was stopped at the door because we ran out of drop zone. The jumpmaster team told my buddy and I to hold while the plane went around for another pass. As we stood at the aircraft’s door, we could see the countryside, the trees, the lakes, and the roads. Everything looked peaceful, quiet, and clean, but the roar of the engines was defying loud.
As we stood in the doorway, a jumpmaster came over to me and asked my buddy and I if we were afraid? We both nodded and replied, “hell yeah!” He said, “I have over 1500 military freefall jumps and 700 hundred static line jumps, and this shit scares me every time.”
At that moment, I felt relaxed, that it was okay to be afraid. In essence, courage is not the absence of fear; it’s instead the ability to function despite being afraid. I was able to focus on my training and proper procedures.
I believe courage can be developed because, remember, you can’t have courage without fear. The anxiety and uncertainty together is where the fear comes from. You can decide to be courageous (meaning fear is subjective), and you can practice and train yourself to overcome that fear.
I’m not saying to go and jump out of an airplane; yet, taking that first step toward that thing you are afraid of is the move in the right direction. Remember, our brains are designed to keep us safe, but immersing yourself into that thing you are afraid of builds confidence—the confidence to keep going despite the anxiety and uncertainty.
Imagine the stories you can tell others by overcoming the fear of public speaking, climbing that mountain, running a marathon, or whatever that thing is in your life that is holding you back.
We only get one life, one opportunity at life, so don’t waste it being afraid. Life is not just the passing of time. Life is the collection of experiences and their intensity.
I would like to hear about your fears and how you overcame them.